Refuting Negative Self-Talk: The Inner Critic (AKA Gremlin Talk)

REFUTING NEGATIVE SELF-TALK: THE INNER CRITIC (AKA GREMLIN TALK)

"I'm not good enough!" "I'm a failure." “I can't do anything right!" 

Does that sound familiar? Many of us have an inner critic, a gremlin, a devil in our head.  


WHAT’S GREMLIN TALK?

Gremlin Talk is an inner voice that speaks to our fear and self-doubt. It destroys confidence and causes withdrawal. The inner critic is a collection of lies and distortions, NOT your inner child.

This negative self-talk and limiting beliefs are so damaging to our overall wellbeing. Not only can it hurt our self-esteem, confidence, but it's done real damage to our brain. 

Self-criticism depletes brain resources and makes it hard to move forward. These negative emotions and limiting beliefs reduces the brain’s capacity to learn. It impairs the function of the prefrontal cortex, our working memory, which obstructs access to curiosity, cognitive agility, creative and strategic thinking.

 
DSC_0853.jpg
 


SO HOW DO WE COMBAT THIS GREMLIN? 

When you begin to feel self-doubt creep in, immediately recognize it and silence it with the 5-R Process: 


5-R PROCESS FOR GREMLIN FIGHTING:

  1. RECOGNIZE gremlin-talk; familiarize yourself with your inner critic

  2. REFUTE gremlin-talk; don’t debate it – override it, state the truth, this is not true, my truth is…

  3. REMOVE gremlin; visualize ejecting the inner critic from the situation, starve it, don’t allow yourself to take part

  4. REGAIN self-confidence; remember your past successes & affirm yourself

  5. RETURN to the present, right here right now



WHAT CAUSES GREMLIN TALK?

Many times our negative thoughts come from the lack of self-care. We all know if we haven't slept or haven't eaten we get "Hangry". Throughout the pandemic, many of us have experienced the consequences of loneliness. We have personally witnessed family members become withdrawn, depressed and sad. All of these can lead to an increase in negative self-talk. As soon as you recognize the Gremlin, complete the HALT quiz? 


HALT QUIZ, Are you: 

    • Hungry? Are you eating healthy food that serves you?

    • Angry? Are you holding a grudge, do you need to forgive and let go?

    • Lonely? Are you isolating yourself?

    • Tired? Are you getting enough sleep? 

If we identify the root cause and understand why the Gremlin is emerging, it will help us RECOGNIZE the Gremlin, REFUTE it, REMOVE it, REGAIN self-confidence, and RETURN to the present, ready to move forward.


CHALLENGE YOURSELF

Refrain from allowing this inner critic to surface. If it does, know you are empowered to fight it with the 5-R process and the HALT quiz. 

Remember positive thinking allows you to let go of the past, accept yourself, feel self-compassion, and move forward.


TAME YOUR MIND  

If you struggle with controlling the inner critic, contact me for a free consultation, and listen to my podcast on Well and Worthy life with Deanna.


 

grab My Ultimate Guide to Refuting Your Inner Critic

 
 




References

Bark, L. (2011). The wisdom of the whole: coaching for joy, health, and success.

Moore, M., Jackson, E., & Tschannen-Moran, B. (2015). Coaching psychology manual.


 
 


Bridget Kilpatrick